Rock Bottom

Three years ago I met my husband, the man of my dreams. We met, fell in love, had an amazing romantic story book courtship, and in less than a year we were married.
I moved halfway across the country to be with him on the East Coast, where we have lived ever since.
We have had our trials and tribulations like every other couple, but we are facing our biggest one  right now.
Less than a month ago, he received new orders during an Underway, and  within a week he sent me a "Dear John" email. I am really not sure what brought this letter on. My husband and I have had a good marriage. We are the couple everyone always says that they strive to be. I am searching for answers, I am trying to save my marriage,  I am turning to God,  I am coming here to try to keep all of my thoughts straight, and I am here to find myself at the bottom of the ocean.

This is not going to be an easy blog to write, but I want to try and share my story, no matter how hard it is for me.  In the last few weeks I have heard every type of military wife story, women who have gone through the same things that I am experiencing now. Some of them have found ways to persevere and keep their marriages in tact, some were not so fortunate, others have remarried and moved on... several to another military man... but we are all here: military wives together, no matter what branch our husbands serve, no matter what background we come from, we are united by the unique family that makes us military wives, and we have to stick together. We have to talk about not only the happiness, but the unpleasantness. Until very recently, I believed in ignoring the messiness, the negative, trying to hide it, and stay strong. I heard some of the horror stories we all hear, cheating wives, cheating men, messy divorces, but I never thought it could happen to me, that was for over-dramatic people not for normal happy wives like me. Now that all this is happening I realize, almost every wife has a story to tell, one very similar to mine, and maybe if we talk about we won't feel so alone, so broken, so useless, and like we failed.

I feel all of those things right now. I am at rock bottom of the ocean, and I have to find a way to the surface.